Green Eggs and Smut
Jan. 31st, 2012 05:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
uakari
Lone-ely.
Lone-ely.
The shopkeeper is Lone-ely.
That is not fair, that is not true.
This place is always quite a zoo.
But you’ve never gotten laid...
I do not need that, so fuck you -
I do not need a worthless screw.
Would you like some Doumeki?
I would not like some Doumeki.
I would rather fuck a tree.
I do not need a worthless screw.
I do not need it, so fuck you.
But you could fuck him in the house!
And you could get him with the mouse!
I will not fuck that dirty louse.
I will not dirty up my mouse.
I would rather fuck a tree
Than fuck that rotten Doumeki.
I do not need a worthless screw.
I do not need it, so fuck you.
Would you prefer Kohane-chan?
You could have her on the lawn…
Not Kohane-chan, not on the lawn.
Not Doumeki, not with a tree.
I would not fuck them in the house.
I would not fuck them with a mouse.
I do not need a worthless screw.
I do not need it, so fuck you.
Would you? Could you?
Himawari!
Always did make your eyes go starry.
I would…uh.
Could…uh.
~*Himawari!*~
You may like her, but you knew
She's now got a husband, too.
I do not want her husband too.
I’m not that desperate for a screw.
But but but but…boohoohoo~
I do not want Kohane-chan.
I do not want her on the lawn.
I do not want that Doumeki
I do not want it with a tree.
I do not want it in the house.
And please dear god, put down the mouse.
I do not want a worthless screw.
I do not want it, so fuck you.
Your other self! Your other self!
You could lick your other self!
You’re fucking nuts – you’ve lost your mind.
Masturbation makes you blind.
I would not, could not with Syaoran.
No matter how it turns me on.
I will not do Kohane-chan.
I will not do her on the lawn.
I will not do that Doumeki
I will not do it with a tree.
I will not do it, so fuck you.
Hey!
Master-wha?
It’s incest - duh!
That might be more your thing, huh?
It’s not my thing,
You little cu-
Would you, could you with his wife?
I would not, could not with this with his wife.
I would not ever in my life.
I will not fuck my other self,
I will not fuck the ninja’s elf.
Not in the house, not on the lawn.
Not with the mouse – I will not spawn!
I do not want a worthless screw.
I do not need it, so fuck you!
You’re sure you don’t want to get laid?
I would rather not get paid.
Could you, would you with a goat?
…
…
! ! !
Sorry, that was just a quote…
I do not believe it was a quote
I think you’d like to fuck a goat.
But I will not succumb to strife
I shall not fuck my other’s wife.
I will not lick my other self,
I will not fuck the ninja’s elf.
I do not want Kohane-chan.
I do not want her in the lawn.
I will not do that Doumeki-
Not at all, why can’t you see?
I do not want a worthless screw.
I do not need it, so fuck you.
You do not want it,
SO YOU SAY.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try them all at once, I say!
Woah!
I can do them all at once?
Why not say that before?
You dunce!
Hey!
I like this multi-partner thing.
Now watch as my limp dick does spring-
Three inches out from where it sat.
And my heart goes pitter-pat-
I never thought of it like that.
How do we get them all right here?
Tell me, Mokona my dear.
So I can do that Doumeki
While hanging down from up the tree
To play with dear Kohane-chan,
Spread out naked in the lawn.
And then I’ll lick my other self,
And tweak the nipples of the elf.
I’ll save some steam for Sakura-
A Syao-Wata ménage-a-trois.
And I will do them in the house.
And I will even get the mouse.
And in the den. And on the deck.
Up in the loft. Their worlds I’ll wreck.
I do quite like this getting laid.
I’ll see to it that you get paid.
As soon as they are all right here.
Now hop right to it
Mokona dear.
Watanuki is a fiend,
To get his neglected whistle cleaned.
But the porn will have to wait,
For Mokona has got a date
With the kinkmeme, for to tell
Of Watanuki's horny spell.
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:39 pm (UTC)You know, I was just thinking about `Is there a Dreamwidth-comm for Doumeki and Watanuki?´ when I checked the reading-page, and BOOM... there is this. You hear the cracking noise? That´s my ribs from laughing and my poor little brain that can not contain this XD
Oh my, it reads like those counting rhymes for children, and now I will have it playing over and over in my mind the whole day... just like the "Twelve Days of Christmas"!
Going to the laundromat - I would not like some Doumeki. I would rather fuck a tree.
Going shopping - I do not need a worthless screw. I do not need it, so fuck you.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MEEEE? >___<
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:41 pm (UTC)Lots of chamomile tea and blankets and hugs!
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-31 11:43 pm (UTC)It totally is based off of a children's rhyming book: Green Eggs and Ham I couldn't possibly write poetry on my own XDDDD
I REGRET NOTHING. :DDDDD
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:48 pm (UTC)and she get´s an extra-hug for egging you on, definetly!I GUESS YOU NEVER DO... THANK GOD! <3
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Date: 2012-02-01 01:49 am (UTC)Watanuki-kun
Watanuki-kun
I wouldn't do him with a spoon
I'd rather do a wild baboon
If I'd boink that guy at all
I would boink him up a wall
boink him till his sorry dick
was twitching with a nervous tick
He'd have to shave his donkey ass
before I'd give his hole a pass
because those hairy balls of his
deserve no kiss,
of a mouth like this
♥
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Date: 2012-02-01 03:39 am (UTC)Geisel is dead. Long live uakari and bottan.
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Date: 2012-02-01 03:46 am (UTC)I'm keeping a tally count of how many childhoods have been ruined today~
<3<3<3
I will DESTROY them all.:DDDDDDD
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Date: 2012-02-01 04:03 am (UTC)but my brain is broken anyway, childhood memories or notno subject
Date: 2012-01-31 11:41 pm (UTC)I'll never be able to see Dr. Suess the same way again.
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:44 pm (UTC)I will ruin ALL the childhoodsno subject
Date: 2012-01-31 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-31 11:47 pm (UTC)This IS mostly Konnichipuu's fault....
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Date: 2012-01-31 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 01:50 am (UTC)/goes in search for pen and paper
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Date: 2012-02-01 12:33 am (UTC)My childhood. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT :D
...I love you for this magnificent piece of brain breakage, and I hope you feel better soon, love.
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Date: 2012-02-01 12:40 am (UTC)LIKE...SRSLY.
:D
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Date: 2012-02-01 12:46 am (UTC)VERY MUCH YES.
YES.
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Date: 2012-02-01 01:51 am (UTC)MANDA YOU'RE LIKE THE MOST AWESOME PERSON ON THE INTERNET. RUINING CHILDHOODS, FOREVER. /THUMBS UP
/HUGS YOU TO DEATH
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Date: 2012-02-01 01:54 am (UTC)THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
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Date: 2012-02-01 02:00 am (UTC)I ONLY POINTED AT THE PROMPT, YOU WERE LIKE, "I WANT TO FILL THIS WITH CHILDREN RHYMES," ALL ON YOUR OWN.
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Date: 2012-02-01 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-01 12:53 pm (UTC)(Also, Fai should be referred to as an elf always.)
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Date: 2012-02-03 01:21 am (UTC)I still wonder about the tree thing, but then.. Clamp people are more often than not named after plants (and sometimes animals), so why not.. but then I faintly remember that the one in the yard of the shop was a Sakura. Think of Tokyo Babylon and ... ah no. Won't go there. I'll just innoccently enjoy this and not think deep thoughts.
Kimi-chan, we KNEW you had it in you! These flexible hips aren't just for show! <3<3<3
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Date: 2012-11-21 08:23 pm (UTC)Something as porny and cracky as this? *lol*
Because you are the Grand Mistress of Crack.
And I laughed, so so so hard. XD
Also, the pics. ^_^
LUUUUUUUV IT!